This essay was written by Eric’s dear friend that he was incarcerated with at FCI florence. Eric previously authored an essay “Big Jay ?” You can find it through the link and after this essay
“THE KING & I”
Have you ever heard of the term “Bright Soul”? I have. Many times. Though what that really took decades of experience to understand. And especially to recognize it. In others. In myself.
It’s that framework, I wish to discuss a particular human. A human named Eric king. This is a name that will mean many different things, to many different people. In the realm of social justice, protagonists? He is a well respected and venerated icon. In the realm of conservative establishment and its legal institutions? A dangerous “chaos variable” that must be contained. And his defiance, broken…
Such is the nature of a “name”, so many projections of one’s own ideas and fears become possible. ” A shelf to place thyself.” I can only speak of what resonates with me:
“the depths of a heart. And the presence of a soul” and it is through that lens, and that lends alone, that I view the human: Eric King
To properly convey what Eric has gifted me? To illustrate the “how” ? I must first give a brief treatise on the “where” and ” why” Take this journey with me. I promise it will be worth it.
The “Where”? Florence correctional complex. The FCI yard. I was already 4 years in when he arrived. Prison. By definition is perilous. But an FCI? If you have clean paperwork. Mind your manners. Mind your business. It will be endurable…
The “Why”? All prisons regardless of security level, have one imputable paradigm: “there is no love, but what you bring with you. In your head, heart, and soul.” And this iron clad and meathook really, forces upon you a serious fork in the road.
You can become better? Or you can become worse. Evolve? Or devolve?
To this I chose evolution. To endure, by nature, is to increase in power. But power is dangerous. If one fails to increase in heart as well. “The power shall devour.”
The “How”? The ability to evolve my heart in tandem with my power? THIS is the gift. Eric King bestowed upon me. A myriad of flaws cultivated me, by mere osmosis, by current societal culture. Psychic roadblocks. I would have never known or noticed, on my own. In essence? Eric modernized me. Broke chains, I didn’t even know I had. Chains binding my heart. Thwarting my ability to gain in emotional intelligence. The sleep clearing the way for me to cultivate my evolutions.
Words fell short improperly expressing what a boon these New perspectives have been to my life. To me? His presence and influence was a bona fide gift from LadyLlilith. And it is in that fervor that I made every effort to defend him. Both in prison and at his trial. For this is a human who deserves to be defended. Eric King is more than my friend. He is family. What I can express, is yet another influence of the gift of Eric King’s time and attention during our prison stint.
And this one? I’m sure he’s unaware of. He has shown me, through his natural tendencies and proclivities. That I could choose to share gifts with others. As opposed to providing selfishness that defined my youth. That I could be a lighthouse, as he is. A positive shine, preventing others from crashing into the unsympathetic shoreline. So now I do. Guiding young witches via essays and podcasts. Seeking to lighthouse them from making the litany of mistakes, that I have. It feels “right”. And he was my inspiration for it.
And this one? I’m sure he’s unaware of. He has shown me, through his natural tendencies and proclivities. That I could choose to share gifts with others. As opposed to providing selfishness that defined my youth. That I could be a lighthouse, as he is. A positive shine, preventing others from crashing into the unsympathetic shoreline. So now I do. Guiding young witches via essays and podcasts. Seeking to lighthouse them from making the litany of mistakes, that I have. It feels “right”. And he was my inspiration for it.
“Thank you, Eric. All the love in the world. See you soon, Brother”
Jay know that when he stood up for me in the religious group, I felt like I had a true friend. Some people have real aversions to little dudes who speak their mind, especially when those views are contrary to ‘group-think’ …Big Jay respected it and instead of bowing to social norms, spoke up for me… not giving a shit about his own social standing, he stood by me MULTIPLE times …using his clout to empower my voice.
Does Big Jay know that when he stood up for me in the religious group, I felt like I had a true friend. Some people have real aversions to little dudes who speak their mind, especially when those views are contrary to ‘group-think’ …Big Jay respected it and instead of bowing to social norms, spoke up for me… not giving a shit about his own social standing, he stood by me MULTIPLE times …using his clout to empower my voice.
Does Big Jay know how safe he made me feel? Altho murders at Mediums are very rare, getting your face kicked off is very common. I annoyed a lot of people, a lot of people felt I was a burden or a race traitor… at 5’6″, 145 lbs, being different can be very dangerous… Big Jay is massive. 6’4″, 260, he honestly looks and sounds like high-bred English nobility… He never used his massive size (or massive intellect) to bully or belittle people, but he did use it as a shield, especially for me. He was both a direct and indirect protector… there was never the slightest doubt that Jay would tolerate even the slightest threat to my safety. He didn’t rush in, he’d let me work out my beefs and settle them however I needed to… but he was always beside me (literally) and on more than one occasion put out what could’ve been a nasty fire.
Big man… big knowledge… big muscles and big heart… big compassion and big brain… big loyalty… the day he was released was one of the happiest and saddest of my life. One of a kind… a true great friend. Big Jerry B forever.-EK
To: Dr. Mann *May I please get tea bags? If out, sugary cereal?
This is an essay Eric submitted for an ADX program
Eric is in a step-down unit of the ADX.
It was determined it would be unconstitutional to release someone from ADX-level-deprivation to the streets, so the ADX created a special unit for people within a year of their release. They are supposed to be able to earn privileges to help them adjust to the outside world. They have specialized caseworkers that help them know what kind of programming they’re eligible for, they can get phone calls, they can get snacks, they can earn a lot of things.
Eric has not been OFFERED and programming.
Through other prisoners, Eric found out about a program in which he could write essays for treats and submit them to psych.(As a reward for this essay, Eric requested “sugary cereal pls.” )
***It’s cute every time we submit one of these essays to talk about just the audacity of where he is, and what he is writing these for. It’s nothing but laughable what pre-release preparation looks like at the Federal supermax ADX Florence. We talk about how it was deemed not okay to release someone due to the streets directly from the ADX. What this means for Eric now… is a little more than just essays. And non-existent pre-release programming. The reality is what the bureau of prisons is going to do (so that way they don’t deprive him in such a way he is released directly to the streets) is place him at USP Florence where multiple people who were involved in his original assault and torture. Both on and off camera where he was repeatedly choked and smothered while fully 4-point restrained. He was left almost naked with no bathroom for 7 hours. 3 to 4 hours of this video tape has been deleted. And even without the jury being aware of the four pointing and torture he was acquitted for the attempted charges of assault on lieutenant Wilcox. Now for one day he gets to be placed at the prison where this man’s son works and various other people involved. Because it would be depravation to just release him to the streets…
This day, these 24 hours that stand between him and freedom are heavily on his mind. The white gang politics at this prison are intense. If you look in Pacer the lawsuits are abhorrent. And often involve guards turning their backs and letting prisoners take care of business..
Beyond this
This 24 hours that stand between him and freedom… Was supposed to happen last february. Prisoners are allowed up to a year and a halfway house and through the covid pandemic the standard has been such. However the prisons are so grossly understaffed, the ADX specifically such an extreme that if the person who reads his mail goes on vacation, if the person who schedules phone calls goes on vacation, if the person who is responsible for his pre-release paperwork goes on vacation… It does not get done. Because the ADX does not have enough staff to have backup security officers for prisoners. This is the unit that holds some of the most notorious federal prisoners in the United states. And almost every position, is unique and the ones that are assigned to provide enrichment to prisoners, to help them program, to get them phone calls, to help in any way… DO NOT HAVE TRAINED BACKUPS… These prisoners just go without.
These prisoners are completely reliant on one person to get the job done…. The bureau of prisons has so grossly negligently understaffed these prisons that it’s not all grudges and closets. Sometimes it’s just procrastination and vacations.
Eric was eligible for a halfway house in february. The bureau of prisons did nothing to help communication with us probation so that way Eric could be accepted to serve his probation in colorado. His May halfway house date was thrown in the trash. After months long delay thankfully he finally was able to be in contact with us probation who have been nothing but supportive in his journey towards release. When US probation finally accepted his placement he was given October 12th as a halfway house date. He grieved and celebrated this with his family. However the person assigned to do the job and submit the application did not submit it properly and accidentally submitted paperwork to the halfway house saying he has an active warrant which is not accepted in a halfway house. The halfway house communicated with the employee saying that once the warden signs off on the new application that they were allowed to call the halfway house to get a new date because they were incredibly overbooked right now and Eric had waited long enough. 2 days. That’s how long it was going to take for the warden signature. 3-4 weeks was the reality by that point he barely has a date by the end of the year. He may have 2 months in the halfway house.
Eric has had a job offer since April to train and work as a paralegal. He has pretty urgent medical needs that is costing the bureau of prisons a pretty penny. He’s almost to the point where he gets to have a CT scan to see whether the asbestos in the segregation unit visiting room at FCI Englewood permanently damaged his lungs. And if that is what’s causing the growth in his lymph nodes that he has been trying to get help for for years. He had a surgery scheduled however it was canceled by a nurse at USP Lee after his victory at trial. (in the same 24 hours she added an alert to his medical file that can be seen on every page, saying that this prisoner likes to hit lieutenants with closed fists.) He has had senate intervention. He has had call in campaigns campaigns. He has had the bureau of prisons bring him to hack doctors that order scans on the wrong sides and tells him he should just do yoga.
(funny story actually. This nurse signed his paperwork transfer order to ADX Florence. The federal supermax prison that involves a secretive internal court procedure, an obscenely long application and months of waiting to get designated….. The day he arrived at USP Lee. The bureau of prisons wants to talk about how carefully they place people at ADX Florence, however Eric’s hearing was nothing but ceremonial. His transfer order had been signed months prior by the same nurse that canceled his surgery after he was acquitted for the assault was Donald Wilcox.
The harm that was caused to Eric though was minimal in comparison. Eric has met since his arrival so many souls at this prison who cannot say this… And then there’s the people no one is ever going to meet again besides their lawyers and us born blood relatives. The prisoners on special administrative measures. One can’t help but Wonder how many of those prisoners had a stamped ticket for travel to the ADX before their hearing wherever completed.
Eric lost 10 months. Which is nothing compared to everyone else in that building. However it did directly affect his health…
During all this time he could be seen outside doctors. He could be working. He could be getting used to life outside deprivation. However he is not. He is not because the bureau of prison believes that in the most secure prison in the nation it is not pertinent to have someone trained as a backup for every position 🤷♂️
So…. as cute as it is to laugh at how ridiculous pre-release programming is. The bureau of prisons pre-release programming that they have planned for Eric is to place him somewhere that could potentially put his life in danger. All while stealing days weeks and months of his life. He has not had a disciplinary infection for years. He has done nothing that might warrant the treatment he has received.
After that horrific reality check we want to balance it out with a really beautiful article from Eric
When I was in elementary school, my mom worked as a bid coordinator for a food distribution company. In gratitude for securing great deals, one of her clients gifted her with Chief’s season tickets. She probably would’ve preferred money, or a raise, but for me this was life changing.
Being poor in KC meant you were a world away from live games. You’d have the game on TV, muted, listening to Mitch & Len on the radio broadcast, rocking counterfeit hats and shirts. Now I’d be going live, the only kid in my circle who’d ever been.
My mom—unsurprisingly—chose all the warm games, which was fine by me. I’d be going during the play off push. Mom was in a serious relationship that would turn into a very happy marriage to a person I considered—and still consider—to be my dad, Jim. He’d be my chaperone, a task he excelled at.
Match day was a total event. We’d start early to get me prepped for the painfully cold KC winters. T-shirt, long-John shirt, sweater, jacket, long-John pants, 3 socks, sweat pants and snow pants, hand-warmers in my gloves, pockets and shoes. We wouldn’t drive to the games; instead, we’d drive to the bowling alley in North KC where people would be tailgating, boozing, gabbing. I loved it. When our bus arrived it was my job to remember our bus number so we could catch the same one on the return. Most likely it didn’t matter, but it made me feel trusted and important.
There are few moments in life more exhilarating than arriving at a stadium on match day. I fell in love. Not just with the Chiefs, but with live sports, local teams, big events, the thrill of common goals and shared experiences. These early experiences helped shape my entire life and personality. The games were amazing. I got to see Derrick Thomas, Marcus Allen, I even got to meet Len Dawson once. The crowds’ joy was my joy, our rage united, our hatred of Elway made us family. I got to scream, cuss, chant “We’re gonna beat the hell out you, You, YOU! You You You!!” I felt alive and a part of something bigger. We won, we celebrated. We lost.
The results mattered, but most importantly was spending time with Jim. I felt included and loved. It was our thing together—freezing half to death together. We were a family. My mom had those tickets for about seven or eight years, and not once did match games become a chore. The last match I went to was during the 2014 season. I got tickets from my ex’s uncle and took a friend who’d never been before. It was the only time I’ve ever been and not had fun. We were playing the Dolphins, coldest game of my life, stadium half empty, and my friend complaining the entire time.
To me, the Chiefs aren’t some team. They’re my family history. They are bbqs and nachos with family and friends, halftime pick-up games in the driveway, bonding and sharing it together. This is what I want to share with my girls, this love and joy, a family tradition, an inclusion into something special. Kansas City forever.
Mail is so difficult to predict and letters take a lot longer to clear the special investigation services mailbox than articles.When he gets a stack of mail it could be from last week or from 2 months ago it’s difficult to tell. Eric has been getting some amazing letters and he wants to answer them all but in the last few months his health problems that have developed over years of medical neglect and 5 years spend in isolation cells have left him so much pain writing letters is excruciating. He wanted to let folks know that he’s probably going to be unable to write in the next couple months leading up to hopefully at some point a halfway house placement. We know everyone is desperate and waiting for news, we assure you we are as well. That August estimate didn’t really age well did it ⌚?
He sends his love thanks and support. He’s nervous and excited about re-entering the world after 10 years of development he missed out on. He’s super giddy about the December release of this project that they have worked so hard on.
He is invigorated about entering right back into that system that he was so desperate to leave and becoming a paralegal and pursuing the field of law when he is free. 👀 Those former guards and “expert” witnesses around the adx need a little job competition as well 😁.
We are so close to the goal on his outdate fundraiser. If folks could take the time to share it would be greatly appreciated 🖤
Greetings friends, comrades, and assorted government voyeurs! This is my second RDTW from ADX. The “Alcatraz of the Rockies” is a weird place, filled with creepy, abusive predators, and a few hundred prisoners!
I’d like to focus on how important things like tangible support and the ABC Warchest are for prisoners. Everything that makes prison somewhat tolerable costs money — stamps and envelopes; paper and pens; emails and phone calls; coffee, non-meat protein like nuts, beans, and peanut butter; supplemental food to deal with abysmal food quality and portions, snacks to add something enjoyable to your day; warm clothes, athletic clothes, shoes; watches, radios, headphones. MP3s are almost $1.50 per song. If you’re sick, all your medicine costs money, as does just talking to a nurse (a $2.00 visiting fee). Tooth paste, shampoo, floss, tooth brushes, decent soap, lotion, etc. If you have hobbies to pass the time, they are all crazy expensive — markers, paints, papers, knitting, any craft-work, typewriter supplies to do legal work; copy cards to use the printer for legal/art/gambl-work. Fifty copies for $5.00. Prison is a for-profit industry. Everything they offer for free is shitty to the point of offensive. Remember also that we are paid peanuts. At Florence Medium, I had two jobs, five days a week and made $20/month, just enough to cover shampoo, soap, and coffee.
This is why the Warchest — and all tangible support — is so vital. Having consistent support allows you to budget, plan your schedule, and remove that very heavy cloud of stress that can linger over your head. Because of the Warchest, because of Bloomington ABC, because of people sacrificing and caring, I’ve never had to go into debt. I haven’t had to do weird hustles and I’ve been able to help others who are struggling. Beyond the sectarianism and trendism that exists within the “movement,” the Warchest sees the brutality of prison and tries to make it a little less shitty for those who need help. I give the biggest solidarity and warmest hugs to all those who in any way do what they can to help those inside. No matter the custody level or length of the bid, prison exposes you to the worst society has to offer, and the people who care expose us to the best. Thank you all for caring. I hope the weather is nice!
I’ll wrap this up by encouraging people to look out for and fight for our elders — harass their prisons or legislators, get ahold of director Collette Peters, demand real health care, compassionate release, more legal representation, more eyes on them, or whatever they personally need. There’s no victory without total liberation. Thank you to everyone who has ever helped me in any way. Big love to my support team, legal team, family, and friends. We’re almost there.
#FreeOsoBlanco
#FreeJenniferRose
#FreeMichaelKimble
#FreeKojoBomaniSababu
#FreeJoe-JoeBowen
#FreeEdPoindexter
Free all of our elders!Anarchy always, antifa everywhere. — EK
This is an essay Eric submitted for an ADX program
Eric is in a step-down unit of the ADX.
It was determined it would be unconstitutional to release someone from ADX-level-deprivation to the streets, so the ADX created a special unit for people within a year of their release. They are supposed to be able to earn privileges to help them adjust to the outside world. They have specialized caseworkers that help them know what kind of programming they’re eligible for, they can get phone calls, they can get snacks, they can earn a lot of things.
Eric has not been OFFERED and programming. Through other prisoners, Eric found out about a program (all by himself) in which he could write essays for treats and submit them to psych.
(As a reward for this essay, Eric requested “sugary cereal pls.” He also wrote before beginning: “Do you accept free-verse ‘poems’? Let’s find out! 🙂
Big Jay
Does Big Jay know how much those brief, star gazing night walks meant? Does Big Jay know that watching him do tarot readings in the library was inspiring? He didn’t give 2 shits that some found that weird as shit…his confidence oozed out and it was infectious…people respond to radical self-belief. Does he know how much it meant to me that when I asked him to read “Shrill”, he actually read it? Then we spoke about it for 3 days after …what patriarchy meant, how we both were actively benefitting from it… what shame meant, what love meant… Amazing, vulnerable conversations that are so rare in prison.
Does Big Jay know that when he stood up for me in the religious group, I felt like I had a true friend. Some people have real aversions to little dudes who speak their mind, especially when those views are contrary to ‘group-think’ …Big Jay respected it and instead of bowing to social norms, spoke up for me… not giving a shit about his own social standing, he stood by me MULTIPLE times …using his clout to empower my voice.
Does Big Jay know how safe he made me feel? Altho murders at Mediums are very rare, getting your face kicked off is very common. I annoyed a lot of people, a lot of people felt I was a burden or a race traitor… at 5’6″, 145 lbs, being different can be very dangerous… Big Jay is massive. 6’4″, 260, he honestly looks and sounds like high-bred English nobility… He never used his massive size (or massive intellect) to bully or belittle people, but he did use it as a shield, especially for me. He was both a direct and indirect protector… there was never the slightest doubt that Jay would tolerate even the slightest threat to my safety. He didn’t rush in, he’d let me work out my beefs and settle them however I needed to… but he was always beside me (literally) and on more than one occasion put out what could’ve been a nasty fire.
Big man… big knowledge… big muscles and big heart… big compassion and big brain… big loyalty… the day he was released was one of the happiest and saddest of my life. One of a kind… a true great friend. Big Jerry B forever.-EK
It was determined it would be unconstitutional to release someone from ADX-level-deprivation to the streets, so the ADX created a special unit for people within a year of their release. They are supposed to be able to earn privileges to help them adjust to the outside world. They have specialized caseworkers that help them know what kind of programming they’re eligible for, they can get phone calls, they can get snacks, they can earn a lot of things.
Eric has not been OFFERED and programming. Through other prisoners, Eric found out about a program (all by himself) in which he could write essays for treats and submit them to psych.
Eric asked for a “cereal” for the reward for this piece
In response to centuries of religious repression,
In response to government hatred and repression,
In response to flagrant and bigotry masked as faith,
A culture of radical flamboyance blossomed
A decision not to hide
A decision to reject the shame
He decision that there is safety with invisibility
The choice to live however they feel
Expressing their love of Life on their own terms
A rebellious choice to be happy, loud, vibrant and proud
OUT
A decision to share their stories, ideas, hopes, loves
Eric is in a step-down unit of the ADX. It was determined it would be unconstitutional to release someone from ADX-level-deprivation to the streets, so the ADX created a special unit for people within a year of their release. They are supposed to be able to earn privileges to help them adjust to the outside world. They have specialized caseworkers that help them know what kind of programming they’re eligible for, they can get phone calls, they can get snacks, they can earn a lot of things.
Eric has not been OFFERED and programming. Through other prisoners, Eric found out about a program (all by himself) in which he could write essays for treats and submit them to psych.
Eric asked for a “nutella” for the reward for this essay
Patterns
I went to college for a few years and got buckets worth of credit.. but it isn’t facts or stats that I took from my “higher education “ .. the number one thing I learned in college is ‘HOW’ to read, ‘how’ to read the news, how to think critically and how to look for patterns.
When I watch the news today, all the fear and hatred and blame being placed on trans people… what I see is a remix of the same tired tropes and tactics of years past.
It wasn’t so long ago when every story on the news was about rap ruining America. This was a play on the “all blacks are thugs” trope… Rap was villainized. Stores try pulling the albums, Christian group boycotted their sponsors and literally bulldozed rappers albums in protest. Lies of precious white children being forced to learn ebonics in school we’re never challenged by reporters happy to exchange fear for ratings.
Of course we can’t forget those pesky muslims.. what started pre 9/11 spiraled into full-blown hysteria post 9/11 and culminated in the early Trump days. The shit said about Muslims openly, on daily news, didn’t even try to avail its bigotry.. all Muslim men were pedophiles and rapists, they beat and tortured “their women” (misogyny and racism all in one) the Muslim woman were all essentially sex slaves with no brains or thoughts of their own.. every mosque being built was a terrorist recruitment center, trying to brainwash “our” children.. Muslims were plotting to take over local city councils to force Sharia law on good Americans.. after all “they” hate us for ‘our’ freedom.. local governments past meaningless ordinances banning Sharia law and teaching the Quran in schools. Separation of church and state.. Muslims would not be allowed to indoctrinate our children
Of course gays and lesbians are a long time fear target. Same bullshit as above. They were all child rapists, all wanting to sneak up on you.. they use religion to shield the bigotry… “it’s a sin” it’s against God’s will, etc. Politicians became theologians and prayed they wouldn’t be caught up in a Minnesota airport bathroom. The gays were ruining “our way of life” … they would “corrupt our society” … same ol fear same ol tactics same ol bullshit.
Immigrants would naturally come under fire.. they are everything bad, nothing good, let’s hate them!
Now it’s transgender people. Continuing the trend of the country’s most powerful people accusing a group with literally zero political power of “taking over” or “attacking” the powerful.. same lies, same over exaggerations, seem deliberate misconstruing.. you can’t blame them though, considering trans folks built billion dollar conglomerates that poison our air and water and refuse to clean it up, they got billions gambling on JUNK loans…profiting beyond belief while thousands lost their homes and pensions…they fought it all costs to prevent affordable health care and then did everything possible to steal that healthcare during the worst pandemic of Our lives…they accept lobbyist money to create laws that benefit corporations, crush workers rights and literally poison and endangered citizens…they have all that power, and it must be stopped.
This is the pattern and it works a marginalized group gets attacked-they speak up against this treatment they get accused of attacking those in power, anyone that stands with the marginalized group gets accused of “forcing their agenda on ‘regular’ Americans. While the fear mongers are distracted with lies, politicians are doing real damage. Banning books is serious, denying people to talk about their existence is dangerous, preventing access to trans healthcare is deadly…and people buy into this, forgetting we just heard the same bullshit about a different group.. further, when all you hear is how shitty a group is most are not interested in seeking out the truth, of speaking to trans youth or the parents, understanding their lives, of understanding that “trans healthcare” is healthcare.. they see another victim trying to force themselves on “us” by not letting “us” erase them. Well conservatives pretend to be worried their precious child may have to breathe trans air, parents of trans children worry they may go to prison for supporting their children or their child may have to go without mental or physical care.
Trans people are people, not scapegoats. My life has been saved by trans people, Calvin, my lawyers ect.. my life has been enriched and enhanced by trans people…. Too many otherwise good people don’t see this pattern, or simply don’t care.. same old lies, same old pattern…same old brutality. #ProtectTransKids #HonorTransLives dignity isnt a grace bestowed by conservatives.
Eric is in a step-down unit of the ADX. It was determined it would be unconstitutional to release someone from ADX-level-deprivation to the streets, so the ADX created a special unit for people within a year of their release. They are supposed to be able to earn privileges to help them adjust to the outside world. They have specialized caseworkers that help them know what kind of programming they’re eligible for, they can get phone calls, they can get snacks, they can earn a lot of things.
Eric has not been OFFERED and programming. Through other prisoners, Eric found out about a program (all by himself) in which he could write essays for treats and submit them to psych.
Eric asked for a “sugary cereal” for the reward for this essay
My mom is spectacular
My mom made me an anarchist. She would cringe reading that, but to me it’s the highest compliment. She truly lets people be who they are and radiates mutual aid and love. Without meaning to, she taught me to resist patriarchy, class solidarity, love, and hard work. For a long hard period my mom had to raise My brother and me by herself often fleeing violently abusive biological dad. She didn’t shrink from life, she didn’t take her out on me and my brother. She took a shitty job at a cold storage company and worked every hour they would allow. Should be given projects with unreachable deadlines and have to meet them. There were countless nights she’d have to pack me and my brother up in the car with box of toys and pillows we’d have slumber parties at the office…she wanted a house so we wouldn’t have to live and my grandpa’s front room, she wanted economic autonomy. If my brother and I hadn’t been such spoiled shit-heads this autonomy would have surely come sooner. She put needs before wants, she built a real family.
My mom didn’t have a degree, the idea would have been ridiculous.. she got a high school diploma and got to work. Over the years she would move up and rank and always overworked and underpaid…like many poor single parents, she didn’t develop passions or indulge youthful dreams, I doubt she ever knew she could have dreams.. family and financial security always came first. Well my mom didn’t chase her dreams, she put me in the position to chase every one of mine. Whether due to being busy, being happily remarried (then tragically widowed RIP Jim) or just relief I wasn’t acting like mike, she developed a real laissez-faire (sic) attitude to my upbringing.. she would support me thoroughly, but as long as I was out of trouble, going to school and checking in with her we were good. When I develop a new passion she’d ask questions or show worry, but then it’d be full support. Imagine having a high school son who got up at 4:00 a.m. to say the rosary, went to the gym at 4:30 to 6:30 a.m. then school, back to the gym, or racing home to watch English football, who existed on a diet of fish, lean meats and veggies. The only hard “NO” I can remember is when I tried to go to Palestine with some franciscans my senior year…weird ass kid.
She never preached or forced her values on me. How to treat people going through hard times, how to let people be with who they are, how to love people without judgment.. how to stand by those you love, how to survive. She’s been through and outlandish amount of hard times but is still the best example of Christianity I’ve ever seen. She always helps, she always cares. She taught me how to be a good husband (and my wife taught me how to be a good son, full circle) I am blessed to have her as a mum
