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Update From Eric 11/6

Eric has been on some form of commissary restriction or another for the last 4 years 😭 He will never walk another yard again but his restrictions have finally been lifted! We would love to celebrate this and surprise him a bit. Basic small pleasures we often take for granted. Spoil him with sweets. Let him finally load up on enough stamps to respond to everybody. Lots and lots of peanut butter! If you drop a donation here we are going to group them together and send them via Western Union to surprise him”

Eric’s Commissary Blast can be found here

https://www.paypal.com/donate?business=KRX8KFG5XADV4&item_name=Eric%27s+Support+Fund&currency_code=USD

Eric’s booklist can be found here

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/OEWNQ9RMQGZR?ref_=wl_share

Hello friends, comrades, and government Nosey Nathans! I’ve been in ADX for about two months now and wanted to give a little update and talk over what things are like here. 
 
                This prison, more than any, exist to break spirits and disrupt connections to the real world. It was built specifically for that purpose. The isolation here is on a very deep level. There are days that pass where I literally speak to no one and hear no one else. Some folks have decades here; imagine if you can. It’s brutal and sickening. This entire joint is a psychological war zone. 
  
                We are given TVs, which is cool, but you can get lost in them. It’s very easy to give up on fitness, mail, reading, and live in the screen. That is 100% what they want, digital social control, screen shackles. I do lots of jogging in place when a show is on, lots of movement. I’ve been in the SHU the last 4 years, most of that time without radio or books let alone a TV. That time was brutal as shit but it did teach me how to set a routine, and to get by on very little…that’s also easy for me to say knowing I’ll be out in approximately 10 months, having done one year here…many don’t have an outdate, or mail, or books coming. This is their life and those NOT swallowed by desperation are some of the strongest people imaginable. 
 
                Every day a big part of my routine is doing daily check-ins with myself, something I learned to do to keep despair at bay. I list all the things I’m thankful for, saying it out loud—usually while hitting lap …. Then I list all the good things about the current day I’m in—simple things like “the water was nice in the shower today” and massive things like “I got mail from my wife!” …. then all the good things tomorrow has in store— “[Manchester] United is on” … “mail may come” … “it’s laundry day” … “pancakes for breakfast” … 
 
                My reality is that, with such limited communication with my family the days in here can get as dark as I allow them to. No one in here is going to hold my hand and make sure I’m ok …it’s on me. I need to make sure this odd hell doesn’t get ahold of me … lose just a little focus and a whole lot of darkness can sneak in. The only person who can hold you up on a daily basis is yourself, and you must do it. 
 
                I’m more fortunate than most. I’m short-timing. I have a fantastic wife, kids, and amazing comrades. I have a legal team fighting for me. I have a deep love of life and thankfully the Bureau hasn’t dimmed my light yet. Mail can be super fast one week, then take a month depending on what’s going on. So if you’ve written me, please know that I’ll try and respond as quickly as I can 🙂 
 
                Thank you to everyone sending books, letters, everything. Love and support is always needed and always appreciated. “we. all. we. Got.” 
 
                Solidarity to those in ATL, wicked respect and admiration to the women in Iran, RIP to Kathy Boudin and Maroon… and solidarity and respect to our elders and comrades still inside; state and federally. This is a hard fight, a long fight, and a worthy fight. 
 
                All love and respect, friends. I’ll write again soon, we’re almost there… 
 
 
(///) – Everywhere 
(A) – Always
-EK 

Every day sucks 
and things are ok also  
Today could end up in tears 
screams and dreams of revolutionary retribution 
or weeping over “young Sheldon” throwbacks 
cheering United, laughing w/” it’s always sunny” 
Either way no one will hear it 
Either way I’ll over feel it 
All the sorrow held captive by these walls 
the bodies may get out, everything else stays 
what you do in here, is owned by you 
what is done to you, who will ever know? 
My scrubbed toilet, swept floor, daily fitness 
all for me, no one else will ever see.. or care 
any meaning, is the meaning I give it 
Either a nihilistic nightmare 
or the ultimate test of rebellious resilience 
“A wall is just a wall” + suffering isn’t a straight line 
neither is strength, neither is victory 
I’ll win + lose twenty times today 
then bounce back to fight tomorrow 
Finding + savoring 
million meaningless victories   

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