Eric has been on some form of commissary restriction or another for the last 4 years š He will never walk another yard again but his restrictions have finally been lifted! We would love to celebrate this and surprise him a bit. Basic small pleasures we often take for granted. Spoil him with sweets. Let him finally load up on enough stamps to respond to everybody. Lots and lots of peanut butter! If you drop a donation here we are going to group them together and send them via Western Union to surprise himā
Eric’s Commissary Blast can be found here
Eric’s booklist can be found here
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/OEWNQ9RMQGZR?ref_=wl_share
This prison, more than any, exist to break spirits and disrupt connections to the real world. It was built specifically for that purpose. The isolation here is on a very deep level. There are days that pass where I literally speak to no one and hear no one else. Some folks have decades here; imagine if you can. Itās brutal and sickening. This entire joint is a psychological war zone.
We are given TVs, which is cool, but you can get lost in them. Itās very easy to give up on fitness, mail, reading, and live in the screen. That is 100% what they want, digital social control, screen shackles. I do lots of jogging in place when a show is on, lots of movement. Iāve been in the SHU the last 4 years, most of that time without radio or books let alone a TV. That time was brutal as shit but it did teach me how to set a routine, and to get by on very littleā¦thatās also easy for me to say knowing Iāll be out in approximately 10 months, having done one year hereā¦many donāt have an outdate, or mail, or books coming. This is their life and those NOT swallowed by desperation are some of the strongest people imaginable.
Every day a big part of my routine is doing daily check-ins with myself, something I learned to do to keep despair at bay. I list all the things Iām thankful for, saying it out loudāusually while hitting lap ā¦. Then I list all the good things about the current day Iām ināsimple things like āthe water was nice in the shower todayā and massive things like āI got mail from my wife!ā ā¦. then all the good things tomorrow has in storeā ā[Manchester] United is onā ā¦ āmail may comeā ā¦ āitās laundry dayā ā¦ āpancakes for breakfastā ā¦
My reality is that, with such limited communication with my family the days in here can get as dark as I allow them to. No one in here is going to hold my hand and make sure Iām ok ā¦itās on me. I need to make sure this odd hell doesnāt get ahold of me ā¦ lose just a little focus and a whole lot of darkness can sneak in. The only person who can hold you up on a daily basis is yourself, and you must do it.
Iām more fortunate than most. Iām short-timing. I have a fantastic wife, kids, and amazing comrades. I have a legal team fighting for me. I have a deep love of life and thankfully the Bureau hasnāt dimmed my light yet. Mail can be super fast one week, then take a month depending on whatās going on. So if youāve written me, please know that Iāll try and respond as quickly as I can š
Thank you to everyone sending books, letters, everything. Love and support is always needed and always appreciated. āwe. all. we. Got.ā
Solidarity to those in ATL, wicked respect and admiration to the women in Iran, RIP to Kathy Boudin and Maroonā¦ and solidarity and respect to our elders and comrades still inside; state and federally. This is a hard fight, a long fight, and a worthy fight.
All love and respect, friends. Iāll write again soon, weāre almost thereā¦
(///) – Everywhere
(A) – Always
-EK
and things are ok also
Today could end up in tears
screams and dreams of revolutionary retribution
or weeping over āyoung Sheldonā throwbacks
cheering United, laughing w/ā it’s always sunnyā
Either way no one will hear it
Either way Iāll over feel it
All the sorrow held captive by these walls
the bodies may get out, everything else stays
what you do in here, is owned by you
what is done to you, who will ever know?
My scrubbed toilet, swept floor, daily fitness
all for me, no one else will ever see.. or care
any meaning, is the meaning I give it
Either a nihilistic nightmare
or the ultimate test of rebellious resilience
āA wall is just a wallā + suffering isn’t a straight line
neither is strength, neither is victory
Iāll win + lose twenty times today
then bounce back to fight tomorrow
Finding + savoring
million meaningless victories